Now That’s Socialist Hair!
The People’s Republic of North Korea has — at long last — taken steps to stop the devious undermining of socialism by capitalist hair styles. That and the lies — lies! lies! lies! — about famine and poverty. North Korean radio and television sets will only receive North Korean broadcasts, but somehow….the people keep interpreting their “hunger” as evidence of a failed regime.
This is mostly likely the funniest thing I’ll read today.
“NO! I said SOCIALIST on the sides, MARXIST on the top! What part of peoples’ cut DON’T you understand!”
Next: Stakhanovite barbers?
“All Working Teams of Heroic Struggle of the Little Guys Collective Farm No. 17 resolve to be pacesetters in storming the fortresses of long hair”? “Farmland, livestock and inventory will be left intact!”
Well, it’s good to know that someone is keeping Enver Hoxha’s legacy alive and well.
Who’s Enver Hoxha?
Adam,
Now that’s an interesting question. Enver Hoxha was the dictator of socialist Albania, a truly terrible tyrant if ever there were one. He presided over the most totalitarian state in Europe. He also considered himself quite the intellectual and wrote enormous tracts exhorting the masses to … well, whatever crossed his mind. He broke with Tito, with the USSR, and with Maoist China, all for being too squishy and capitalist. (A very tiny selection of his less bizarre writings is available at http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/hoxha/ .)
When I went to Albania right after the communist state had started to collapse, I went to the first “private restaurant” in Tirana (a house where people served food, and into which a boom box purchased in Italy had been installed). Hoxha had banned relion (and even names with religious significance – except for his own, which means “priest” in Turkish)and, of course, decadent western capitalist “rock” music, as well as virtually any activity that his subjects might have considered fun. I danced with a woman who had spent her whole life under communist rule but who had always yearned for freedom. I remember her telling me, “Oh, if only Comrade Hoxha could see us now!”
Wait, he thought MAO and the USSR weren’t Communist enough??? Sounds like something I read from Fred Phelps (the godhatesfags nutcase) who thought that Falwell wasn’t anti-gay enough.
My particular reference, Adam, was to Hoxha’s hostility to beards.
Actually, Saparmurat Niyazov (The Turkmenbashi) of Turkmenistan is a member of this select group of nutjobs as well. Some of his highlights in just the past year include banning beards and gold teeth (which are popular in Central Asia) and requiring that one must take a test on his spiritual works, The Ruhnama, to get a driver’s license.
Aren’t insane, megalomaniacal dictators fun? Apart from the killing and the torture. Moammar Qadhafi of Libya is my personal favourite. Among his highlights:
1) The Green Book. See http://www.qadhafi.org for the complete text. Includes such gems as “If lands were privately owned, only the living would have a share in it.”
2) Shakespeare was an Arab writer named ‘Sheikh Spear.’
3) ‘Democracy’ is derived from the Arabic world ‘kursi’ (meaning chair). So democracy is about having lots of meetings. That’s why Libya is the most perfect democracy on Earth.
4) Palestinians and Israelis should form a single state called Israstine.
If you can’t be humane, at least be amusing.
– Adam
It could never happen here.
Except that the United States of America has — at long last — taken steps to stop the devious undermining of Americanism by low-hung trousers.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A12612-2005Feb9.html